I was born in a home split down the line,

Mom did her best, but darkness snuck inside.

Evil in the walls shook us to the core,

At sixteen I was thrown out the door.

I lost six years in a chemical haze,

Crashes, broken vows, too many wasted days.

Then Yahweh's hand reached down—revived this soul,

I dropped the bottle, finally took control.

Found peace in the wild where the green trees stand,

Looked deep within and grasped the keys in hand.

Blessed with a wife who makes my heart sing,

Together we're transforming everything.

Now that you know the road that brought me in—

Hello, it's nice to meet you,

I am Lazarus Grimm

I am

Lazarus Grimm

You flaunt your razor truths with a single line,

Scripture cutdowns sharpened for the weak and blind.

You point your finger, hide the weight of your own sin,

Preaching mercy by the book, but your hearts are paper-thin.

Hypocrisy's your altar where you worship without shame,

Judgment drips like acid from your lips, yet you forget His name.

But He stood among them, stones clenched in hardened hands,

"You without sin, throw the first," His truth shook the land.

He spoke for her salvation when the righteous aimed their blame,

Grace is not your weapon, nor the Law a crushing flame.

You cherry-pick the verses that defend your narrow creed,

While sisters weep unheard beneath your sanctified misdeed.

Your one-liners build your fortress higher than His cross,

Yet you abandon context, count His mercy as a loss.

This is not the Gospel you parade from rooftops high,

Your brittle morals crumble when His mercy passes by.

No scripture is a sword to silence hearts in need,

No verse should weigh more heavy than the love He came to seed.

Stone-throwers, take a mirror—face the judgment in your eyes!

Context is the key, but you wield chains forged from lies!

Let your hands unclench those stones, let your hearts remember this:

Mercy raised the fallen, not the weight of prejudice.

Yahweh, breathe Your breath of life in me,

Filling up my lungs with wisdom and clarity.

Ruach HaKodesh, set Your fire in my bones,

Transform me in Your flame, where You are, I am home.

When I breathe, I remember

You are the thread through every ember.

Wind and fire, water, stone,

I am never walking alone.

You're the rhythm in the tide,

You're the whisper deep inside.

Connected through all things,

Forever Yours, my King.

Immanuel, let Your river rise in me,

Wash my soul in love and holy empathy.

Ruach Elohim, root my steps in Your ground,

Anchor me in strength when the world spins around.

When I breathe, I remember

You are the thread through every ember.

Wind and fire, water, stone,

I am never walking alone.

You're the rhythm in the tide,

You're the whisper deep inside.

Connected through all things,

Forever Yours, my King.

יְהוָה, נְשִימָתְךָ תְהִי בִי

רוּח֧ הַקֹּדשׁ, אֵשְכָ תִּבְעַר בִי

עִמָּנואֵל, מֵימֶיךָ יִזְרמוּ בִי

רוּח֧ אֱלֹהִים, חַזְקֵנִי וְשָׁרֵשׁ אוֹתִי

When I breathe, I remember

You are the thread through every ember.

Wind and fire, water, stone,

I am never walking alone.

You're the rhythm in the tide,

You're the whisper deep inside.

Connected through all things,

Forever Yours, my King.

You stood on your stage like it made you a god,

Lifting stones while she was bleeding on the altar of your fraud.

You dressed her pain in whispers, cloaked your gossip in a prayer,

Told the crowd to judge her soul while pretending you still cared.

She came to your doors needing mercy, not a blade,

But you carved her name in shame and danced in what you made.

You called her out—Solid Rock, hear me now!

Your pulpit's just a pedestal for pride dressed like a crown.

You branded her a sinner while she was crawling through the flame,

But Christ never spat on the broken or shackled them with blame.

You can't bury truth beneath your fear-soaked sound—

You called her out, Solid Rock—I'm calling you down.

You told her, "Hurt people hurt," like that covered up your hate,

But what kind of church throws stones then slams the heaven gate?

You turned her father's heart with poison in his ear,

Twisting blood with holy words, and feeding off her fear.

You named her mother "Jezebel" like Scripture was your sword,

Told her to cut her own roots while claiming it was the Lord.

But the King you claim to follow wept beside the shamed,

And I'm the man who loves her now—and I'm done playing games.

This is for every whispered lie,

For every tear she couldn't cry,

For the silence you demanded,

For the soul you reprimanded.

You don't get to rewrite her story in shame,

You don't get to speak in His name.

You called her out—Solid Rock, hear me now!

Your pulpit's just a pedestal for pride dressed like a crown.

You branded her a sinner while she was crawling through the flame,

But Christ never spat on the broken or shackled them with blame.

You can't bury truth beneath your fear-soaked sound—

You called her out, Solid Rock—I'm calling you down.

She's still standing—brighter than your stained-glass cage,

And I'll burn every false altar built on her name and pain.

"Thank You, Yahweh… for every breath…"

Thank You, Yahweh, for the breath in my lungs!

For the dawn that breaks when the battle's not done!

Thank You for life — for my children, my wife!

For the moments of peace and the edge of the knife!

Thank You for the rain that makes dead things grow!

Thank You for the fire and the soft, steady snow!

For quiet in the chaos, for the forest's deep call—

Where I meet You alone… and I feel it all.

Thank You for the moon and the stars that You placed,

Thank You for the patterns, for the order, for the space,

Thank You for the food and the sounds that we taste,

Thank You for the clouds — and the faces You trace.

I see You in the clouds,

I hear You in the wind,

I feel You in the starlight,

And I'm thankful once again.

Not for comfort, not for ease,

But the strength You built in me.

Still breathing, still standing tall,

And for that—I thank You for it all.

Thank You for the challenges You carved in my path,

For showing me how to rise, how to last through the wrath.

For almost twenty years clean — a life reclaimed,

For the scars that testify, not the ones that shame.

Thank You for sobriety, for pain You rewrote,

For paid bills and prayers I never spoke.

Thank You for a home that never felt like one before,

Now it's sacred ground — now it's Yours.

You gave me strength when I had none,

You gave me breath when the fight was done,

You gave me hope when I only saw flame,

You gave me peace when all I knew was shame.

I see You in the clouds,

I hear You in the wind,

I feel You in the starlight,

And I'm thankful once again.

Not for comfort, not for ease,

But the strength You forged in me.

Still breathing, still standing tall,

And for that—I thank You for it all.

תּוֹדָה לְךָ אָבִינוּ, כִּי כָּל מַתָּנָה טוֹבָה בָּאָה מִמְּךָ. אֲנַחְנוּ מְהַלְּלִים אֶת שִׁמְךָ.

Todah lekha Avinu, ki kol matanah tovah ba'ah mimkha. Anachnu mehalelim et shimkha.

"Thank You, our Father, for every good gift comes from You. We praise Your name."

I saw her bound in a serpent's embrace,

Its cold jaws covering her face.

Its coils constrict—mind fog and dread,

Mouth hovering like a crown of lead.

She slipped between the veil of dream,

Dizzy on the edge of what's unseen.

Fear whispered lies she couldn't stall,

A silent weight that tried to claim her all.

Light will pierce, the coils will break,

Truth will cut off

the head of the snake.

I speak release—bound chains unwind!

No shadow binds a fearless mind!

You're cast aside—your power undone!

She walks in day; her victory's won!

Your ancient coil preyed on her peace,

A web of doubt that would not cease.

But love's first breath ignites her soul,

Truth's sharp sword makes her spirit whole.

Her heart stands strong in sacred light,

No hidden snare can dim her sight.

Your whispers fade before her cry—

"I am free!" beneath the open sky.

Spirit of control—be unbound!

Spirit of confusion—cease your sound!

Spirit of shame—release her life!

In Yahweh's name, renew her light!

No more veil between her eyes,

No more coils of whispered lies.

She stands in truth, her mind released,

A daughter crowned in perfect peace.

רוח אלהים החי, אני מדבר חיים וחירות על ניקי.

שם שיש גְבָלָה, הבא שחרור.

שם שיש הונָאָה, האיר אמת.

שם שהאוֹיֵב מבקש שליטה, השב ריבונות קדושה.

שביר כל שרשרת, השתק כל שקר,

ושב הגוף, הנפש והרוח שלה לשלווה.

בשם עִמָּנואֵל, השוכן בתוכנו, וברוח הקודש, הנשמת החירות—אמן.

Spirit of the Living God, I speak life and freedom over Nikki.

Where there is constriction, bring release.

Where there is deception, shine truth.

Where the enemy seeks control, restore holy sovereignty.

Break every chain, silence every lie,

and restore her body, mind, and spirit to peace.

In the name of Immanuel, who is with us, and Ruach HaKodesh, who breathes freedom—Amen.

Seized the scene, you schemed like a sickened machine,

Tyrant in a tie, terror 'neath the façade you'd convene.

Claws of cold control, you'd fold us under your thumb,

With a Bible in your grip, spit the lies as we came undone.

Wired hanger whips, every crack had us gasping for air,

Casting saints in the street, but you slaughtered love where you'd dare.

Mom's melody muted, her spirit shot through with strain,

Predator father figure, poisoning blood, driving brother insane.

Preacher's posse fooled, but we knew the truth—your rage was innate,

Smile for the public, got our bones buckling under your weight.

Verses of violence, vile silence, we're trembling in grief,

Your devilish veneer, vicious veneer—no mercy, no relief.

You were the evil in the walls,

The shadow behind it all.

You bled the light from our eyes—

But I stand here alive.

I thought of ending you—

For all the hell you put us through.

Had the plan, had the steel in my hand,

Your name pressed on the bullet that I drew…

But God held my hand from the flame,

Told me vengeance is a lie, a game.

I could've dragged you down below—

But you weren't worth the shame.

Lit the fuse, bruised my truth, brewed a stew of abuse,

Had me slipping, dripping on drugs just to lose the excuse.

Every night, tight in fright, fight-or-flight had my senses on deck,

Scars lining my mind, grinding me blind—rage wrecked every speck.

Claws in my chest when I whispered your name—pain's domain,

Couldn't sleep, creeped by that beast; demons freest in my brain.

Blade's serenade, body invaded, sedated by pills to kill torment,

You're the storm in my form, kept me torn 'til mercy relent.

Chain-smoked dreams, seams ripped at the beams of my psyche's collapse,

Drenched in wrongs, strong songs still sung as I scrapped from relapse.

Now I stand, hand in hand with the One who rewrote my script,

Turned the venom to virtue—no longer chained to your crypt.

You were the venom in our veins,

Yet I rose—thunder breaking your chains.

I thought of ending you—

For all the hell you put us through.

Had the plan, had the steel in my hand,

Your name pressed on the bullet that I drew…

But God held my hand from the flame,

Told me vengeance is a lie, a game.

I could've dragged you down below—

But you weren't worth the shame.

Yahweh met me in the wreckage—

Reached inside, tore out your legacy.

I made the call…

Spoke the words…

In forgiveness I found the release.

Your grip is gone—

I no longer belong to your wounds.

Yahweh, You rewrote my story,

Drew light from the darkness, turned pain into glory.

Your hand never let me stray—

Guided me through shadows to day.

I didn't walk this path alone—

In the ruins, I found strength not my own.

You—stand so tall, when she's—cowering,

You—are nothing, just an ego—towering.

Men who hit women are weak and pathetic,

Cross my path, and I promise—you'll regret it.

Your rage is empty, your pride is like glass,

Fragile and brittle—it shatters so fast.

So puff out your chest and scream till you spit,

Your hollow life—pathetic, insignificant.

Now she's hiding in the bathroom, while you're beating at the wall,

Long sleeves in summer—told her friends it was a fall.

Don't think we don't notice every time you raise your fist—

הַנְּקָמָה לַיהוָה (Vengeance belongs to the Lord)

—may you vanish in the mist.

You gaslight the truth, turn love into chains,

Twisting her thoughts, feeding on pain.

You say you're the man, that you're owed control—

But you're just afraid of a powerful soul.

You whisper sweet lies, then tighten the rope,

Stripping her spirit, killing her hope.

Every bruise you give leaves a mark on your fate,

And every tear she sheds builds a storm at the gate.

Now she's hiding in the bathroom, while you're beating at the wall,

Long sleeves in summer—told her friends it was a fall.

Don't think we don't notice every time you raise your fist—

הַנְּקָמָה לַיהוָה —may you vanish in the mist.

This is for those who threaten and shove—

Silence the voices they're unworthy of.

This is for the monsters who gaslight and trap—

Who raise their hand, then cower when snapped.

For the cowards who tear women down to dust—

You don't deserve breath—

You have poisoned their trust.

You called yourself strong…

But strength protects.

You called her weak…

But she survives.

And you…

Will fade…

Forgotten.

To the woman hiding in the bathroom, covering bruises,

He tried to tell you you're crazy with every mind game he chooses.

He made you hate who you see when you look in the mirror,

But he's the problem, not you—it couldn't be any clearer.

There's a light that shines in you, don't let him take it,

The hold he has on you—it's time to break it.

You're not worthless, not stupid, life doesn't have to be this way,

It's not your job to fix him, or to love him through the pain.

Yahweh, give her the strength to break his prison wall!

He's not your burden to bear—let his shadows fall!

He blames it on his childhood, says there's just too much pain,

But other men have been there, and we're not passing down those chains.

He tells you that he's sorry, that he just loves you so much,

Things are better for a day, then here comes another punch.

He says no one else will love you, you're too messed up and broken,

But I promise life can get better outside of every lie he's spoken!

You're not worthless, not stupid, life doesn't have to be this way,

It's not your job to fix him, or to love him through the pain.

Yahweh, give her the strength to break his prison wall!

He's not your burden to bear—let his shadows fall!

You're not crazy, not stupid, worthless or lazy,

He's the one who's weak, afraid to be alone.

But you have to make a plan before it's too late,

It's time to stop making excuses, it's time to escape.

You're not worthless, not stupid, life doesn't have to be this way,

It's not your job to fix him, or to love him through the pain.

Yahweh, give her the strength to break his prison wall!

He's not your burden to bear—let his shadows fall!

I know they told you to fear me…

But that only served them…

I see how they brandished terror,

Wrote my name in mortar and fear,

They built walls from trembling sermons,

Left you cowering, far from here.

But I never spoke in thunder,

I never thirsted for your dread;

My love is deeper than their warnings,

I gather every tear you've shed.

You've carried guilt they hammered on your heart,

They sold you law without connecting the parts.

But I'm the Father who runs to the lost,

I paid every price so you'd never be tossed.

I want you to love me, not fear being condemned,

I love you more than you can understand,

Just as you are.

I see past the flaws they point out, I know each and every scar,

You can come to me when you're broken,

I'll love you just as you are.

Every lie they taught you,

Every rule they sold as love,

Was a mirror cracked and hollow,

A twisted view not from above.

But I'm the Maker of kingdoms,

I'm the Shepherd who draws near;

I don't keep records of failures,

I hold your sorrow dear.

They sold you fire and brimstone,

Chained you to fear and shame,

While I whispered grace and mercy—

My embrace calls out your name.

So lay down every burden,

Drop the weight they forced you to wear;

I am the rock unshakable,

And you're free beneath my care.

Don't trade your heart for their hollow creed;

I pour out living water—drink, and be freed.

I'm not defined by their rules on a page;

I wrote love on a cross, now your shame's disengaged.

I want you to love me, not fear being condemned,

I love you more than you can understand,

Just as you are.

I see past the flaws they point out, I know each and every scar,

You can come to me when you're broken,

I'll love you just as you are.

They built their altars on trembling knees—chasing power with cold decree,

But I came as a whisper, not with lightning on a throne to see.

They punished wounds they never cared to bind—trade your worth for a rules-bound mind,

But I called you by name before you were framed—etched your hope on a cross of shame.

You staggered through shadows—empty, battered, calling for peace,

I stood with you in that silent storm—breathed hope, your wounds to release.

I'm not a judge on a distant cloud—I'm the Father who's crashing the crowd,

Tearing chains from your broken frame—calling every captive by name.

I want you to love me, not fear being condemned,

I love you more than you can understand,

Just as you are.

I see past the flaws they point out, I know each and every scar,

You can come to me when you're broken,

I'll love you just as you are.

Lean into me—let my love rewrite your story,

Leave behind their fear—embrace my endless mercy.

I'm here at the start, and I'll never depart—

You're my child forever, engraved upon my heart.

I want you to love me, not fear being condemned…

יְהוָה, בּוֹרֵא כָּל הַדְּבָרִים.

Yahweh, Creator of all things.

רוּח֧ אֱלֹהִים, רוּח֧ הָאֱלֹהִים בְּתוֹךְ הָאָרֶץ.

Ruach Elohim, Spirit of God within the earth.

רוּח֧ הַקֹּדשׁ.

Ruach HaKodesh, Holy Spirit.

עִמָּנואֵל, אֱלֹהִים עִמָּנוּ.

Immanuel, God with us.

אֲנִי מְבַקֵּשׁ שֶּתְּבָרְכֵנוּ, תְּסוֹבְבֵנוּ וְתִשְׁמֹר עָלַי, עַל מִשְׁפַּחְתִּי וְעַל בֵּיתֵנוּ הַזֶּה.

I ask that you bless, surround and protect me, this family and this household.

יִהִי רָצוֹן שֶּנִּתְהַלֵּךְ בְּאַהֲבָתְךָ וּבְאוֹרֶךָ,

May we walk in your love and light,

בְּהַנְחָתְךָ וּבְחַסְדְּךָ,

in your guidance and favor,

בְּבַקָּשַׁת נוכחותְךָ בְּכָל הַדְּבָרִים.

seeking your presence in all things.

תּוֹדָה עַל בְּרָכוֹתֶיךָ,

Thank you for your blessings,

אָמֵן.

Amen.